It Was Meant to Happen (not). College admissions as an excuse of deflection.

That phrase–itwasmeanttohappen–what does that mean? Is it a self improvement now go and learn your lesson from it nudge? Is it leaning towards a fatalistic nothing-you-can-do-anyway? Or is it just a what-ever brush off?

I heard it a lot around our sons college search and on the sidelines for our daughters soccer recruiting. It seems the phrase usually crops up when something is at stake and out of my control. It seems to work as a deflection so no one has to talk about disappointment or loss, it smooths the way for any outcome to feel like any outcome might be the right one.

Of course the accident, the illness, the random meeting of a new friend or even coming across the tweet that leads to a new bit of understanding can be described as meant-to-be for anyone who likes the phrase. But isn’t the action one takes after the Bump more important? Real action? Can’t we be in control of the meanttohappen by being involved in what comes after?

Instance by Instance itwasmeanttohappen has nothing to do with the more important adventure of dusting off.