Well lookie there. It’s been five months since I posted here. Well, since I’ve taken the time to write anything not mandatory. Because this fall I could only keep it together and get through it. My mother-in-law passed away, she was sick all summer and Charles went to the cape often to see her and to deal with her sisters (his aunts) estate in the same trip. His aunt passed away a couple of days after his mom went into the hospital for surgery last spring. She was an artist and asked that her work be catalogued. There is so much to do with all the things a sculptor produces, then suddenly …leaves. Charles thought his mom would get better. She passed in September.
And this fall the family dog was sick. From August to the end of October daily we hand-fed, laser-treated, medicated, and hoped that she would recover because she kept bringing her toy to be thrown as a tiny sign she was still interested in staying. Hepatitis or a type of Leptospirosis. Anyway, it was a liver disease. Then her heart failed. But as of five days ago a blood test proved her liver is healed, her heart will give out shortly. She’ll be ten, we’re vigilant on the meds and she’s happy, almost catches the squirrels in the woods and eats by herself.
Yada, yada, here she goes on and on about the damn dog the editor on my shoulder whines at me now…
Oh; and our oldest left for college in August. He’s back now for Christmas vacation and seems happy. Good grades, new friends, excited about chemical engineering and all the challenging math and physics he’s getting. So OK, alright.
When Jack left I told him this is usually the timeline: get a puppy when the kids are young then they leave and mom and dad have to deal with their absence as well as the dog’s geriatric life. But it kept us focused in the house. Over focus between Charles’ trips to the cape and Cora was busy with soccer and school and friends and soccer.
I’m going to try something new next year in terms of making lists. I’m not going to. Unless of course it’s groceries or a phone number for an appt., or something urgent that needs to happen in a given day. If I forget to do something, or ‘procrastinate’ so that something (that would be on my list if I had one) doesn’t get done, I’m simply off the hook I was never on. I look forward to wandering into each evening satisfied that I’m still standing and don’t have a headache and hopefully did and said something of significance for my family, students, my day.
Is that enough? Let’s vote yes. To feel like eating, to sneak out of this world vs. a quick surprise, to let our children pave their way seems calm and somehow not an option except which vantage point from which to view it.
To Be Continued.